Living is just a phase
by The Last Shadow Rider
Summary: We all go through a 'Phase.' A Phase known as living...He was ordered to protect her broken and battered body at all costs. Simple right? His plan was fool proof...Except for one minor detail...Love.
1. Prelude

_Living is just a phase_ Prelude 

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Yu Yu Hakusho, or DBZ characters. I do however own A Sesshoumaru wall scroll along with a plushy, pictures, posters and pencils of him. My friend owns a Hiei plushy even though I don't really know what that has to do with anything. Also the plot belongs to me. It is my original story so don't steal it without contacting me and giving me credit. Oh and the idea of the title belongs to my friend, Chelsea. She suggested it.

**Summery: Crossover: This story is dedicated to those who feel that there is no reason to live. There is, you just have to find it. That is what makes the story of a broken girl desperately trying to survive in a world that is against her. Hiei/Pan.**

She sat facing the crystal blue waters of the ocean. The wind played with her short raven black hair weaving in and out almost like that of a child's game, tangling it into thick locks. Which in return splattered acrossed her pale ivory skin. Salt water rose to lick her face as the waves slowly rolled into the coast smashing up against the grey boulders and cliffs such as the one she was now sitting on. Below her there were no sharp rocks, just deep water, which was mainly the reason why she was here. The warm sun was just setting over the horizon painting reds, yellows, oranges, blues, and purples acrossed the coming night sky. Far off you could see rain clouds drifting towards the shore. It was the quiet before the storm.

' _It's good to be back here._' The girl thought, burring her toes in the pale sand still warm from the heat wave earlier that day. The sea breeze however brought a much-needed relief cooling the temperature down into the mid 90's. Even then it was warm, but not as bad as it had been.

Her gaze turned down towards the blue waters. In one swift motion she stood dusting off the back of her faded shorts. Walking towards a rock to lay her cloths next to she removed her big white T-shirt and shook her head to release her hair. Once she removed her shorts, revealing a black bikini, she walked further away from the edge of the cliff. Stopping she turned. Far off behind her she heard a man call her name. "No! Pan! Don't do this again!"

He would not stop her again.

Running towards the edge she jumped as she reached the ledge letting her arms rise mimicking that of a birds wings. Sailing high above the water she closed her eyes as the wind rushed passed her sending an overwhelming feeling of emptiness throughout her soul. She felt nothing. No twisted pain inside her chest, no guilt. Just freedom. The kind of freedom she wanted forever.

" Sayonara Trunks."

The woman was brought back from her musings as the sensation of hitting a bed came over her. The water splashed acrossed her skin in an instant, it felt almost like electricity surging through her body. The cool rush was greatly welcomed. Opening her eyes she peered around. She could see everything around her the water was so clear. The fish, plants, and occasional dolphin fluttering about twisting and turning, dancing its playful game. A warm smile graced her lips. This planets creatures were so amusing.

She turned to the sea cliff behind her searching for what she had come for. Glancing down she saw it. A small crevice big enough to hold on to with a small rope she had attached herself, when she had tried this once before. It was about 20 more feet down from her current position.

_'Good.'_ She thought. Pumping her legs while using her hands to maneuver herself through the water she began her decent, ignoring the pain in her ears and the bridge of her nose, getting greater with the water pressure. She heard a big splash above her. _'It's him.'_

He was coming again to stop her. The man she only knew the face of. She didn't know why he always came for her. He just did. His hair reminded her of Vegeta's it seemed to defy gravity. He was about the same height too. Why couldn't anyone see that this is what she wanted? She wanted to be free. No more of life's painful woes. No more friends stabbing you in the back. No more blames placed on her shoulders and especially. No more 'him'. She used her Ki to speed up under the water. Getting farther and farther from the surface. Farther from her pain.

She suddenly felt dizzy, a little faint. She happily gave into the blackness that consumed her mind. Falling limp in the process. Strong arms encircled her pulling her upwards. She didn't care anymore; she was so close to freedom. Closing her eyes she let her mind drift back to the reason why she was doing this why she was ruining her life. To the day she was betrayed…

_Here ends the Prelude._

So what do you think? Good bad? This is just the prelude! PRELUDE! Cough Yes this is a Pan/Hiei paring. Yea I know…what was I thinking? Right? Well the truth is I was really bored. I mean _really_ bored. Oh well I hope you enjoyed the prelude. Remember it is just a prelude, not the real thing. The real chapters are much longer. If you have read my other story you'll know. Fan Fiction is my life…if I were in one of those truth / anti-drug commercials I would say: "Fan Fiction is my Anti-drug." Okay enough about me, and more about you…I want to know what you think! Should I continue? Or no? I am sorry all you trunks/pan lovers out there this is not one of them, actually it's more of a Trunks bashing…see ya!

Your faithful authoress,

TLSR


	2. Kirikuchi

Living is just a phase Chapter 1: Kirikuchi 

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Yu Yu Hakusho, or DBZ characters. In case you haven't noticed by now. Not a single bit. Not even any stocks in the animation company that brought it to T.V. I'm poor so don't sue, all you would get is my new backpack and I'll be damned if I let you get a hold of that! I paid for it so it's MINE! MINE MINE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cough Oh yea, I don't own simple plan. Or what I just said above. Just the bag!

**Flashback or scene change  
Thinking ''  
Talking **" "

_**Dream**_

'_**Youko talking in head'**_

'**Kurama talking in head'**

**Hiei talking in head**  
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By yours truly: The Last Shadow Rider

**-**

**-**

**Words: 3,380**

**Pages: 8**

**Characters: 17,956**

**This story is dedicated to those who feel that there is no reason to live. There is, you just have to find it. That is what makes the story of a broken girl, desperately trying to survive, so unforgettable. **

**In this story Pan is a half Saiyan not a quarter Saiyan okay? Her dad is Goku, and Goten and Gohan are her two older brothers. She is the only girl. Got it? On with the story!**

**I never could've seen this far**

**I never could've seen this coming**

**Seems like my world's falling apart**

**Yeah**

**Why is everything so hard?**

**I don't think I can deal with the things you said**

**It just won't go away**

**In a perfect world**

**This could never happen**

**In a perfect world**

**You'd still be here**

**And it makes no sense**

**I could just pick up the pieces**

**But to you**

**This means nothing**

**Nothing at all**

**I used to think that I was strong**

**Until the day it all went wrong**

**I think I need a miracle to make it through**

**-**

"So if you need anything you know my cell phone number." I said picking up my wallet and shoving it into my black baggy parachute pants, while pulling on my trench coat. Thank kami it was water proofed because it was raining buckets outside.

"I'm probably going to go out with some of my friends." Came his reply, he almost sounded like he was British, but I know he is Japanese.

"Kurama, I'm leaving now. I'll be back after supper. See ya." I said shutting the apartment door behind me.

"Bye Pan." I could hear the muffled answer of my roommates voice through the door bidding me goodbye. He was really a charming fellow, a demon at that. Well I guess you could say half demon. You see he had two spirits in one body. Sounds confusing hu? Well I was just as confused when he tried to explain to me. That is after I walked in on him in the shower as Youko-Kurama.

Flashback

I picked up my baiting supplies and headed to the bathroom, completely out of it. I was so tired right now that I could just fall on the ground and sleep. Opening the door I looked up when I heard a yelp.

In MY shower stood a butt naked white haired man, with a well-built body, huge claw like fingernails, two white tails, and fox ears on his head. He was in the process of trying to cover himself, but all was in vain. I did the first thing that came to mind, and that was scream.

"AH! THERE'S A KILLER IN MY HOUSE!" I stepped back and took a katana off the wall behind me. Pointing it at him I said, "What are you doing in my house and where is Kurama?"

He just stood there looking at me like I was crazy then he sighed, closing his eyes he began to pulse. My grip on the sword tightened. With each pulse his body changed, his hair turned from white to pink to red. Suddenly I recognized him as Kurama. I lowered the katana and blinked twice.

"Buddy you have a lot of explaining to do."

I smiled as I replayed the memory in my head. 'His real name is Shuuichi but everyone calls him Kurama after his other self. Youko-Kurama. Youko was a thief at one time, but now he just works for the man that wanted him locked up in the first place. He had once told me it was because if he did the man would wipe his record clean. He has never really told me were he works he just gave me the name Reikai Tantei. He also has never told me who his boss is, but I guess I'll let him have that much privacy.'

'Kurama is one of my very trusted friends. It's almost like he's my third brother. He knows about me being a half Saiyin. He said it's pretty cool that I can fly and all, he's like that. He always sees the brighter side of things. Even after his mother passed away. He tells me that his friends would be glad to meet me; he thinks they would understand about me. I just think he's saying that sometimes. At least it's good to know that he'll be there for me. Him and Trunks.' I smiled at that last thought as I hailed a cab driver and got in the car.

" Capsule Corp. please." The driver nodded and took off, into the looming city ahead.

**In Spirit World**

Koenma had arrived in his room with Botan.

"Botan. I need a portal for Kurama and Hiei." He spoke sucking on his pacifier at the same time.

She nodded and opened a portal for the Reikai Tantei. Well, two members of the team at least. He looked around as he sat down at his desk. He was ready to assign them another mission. He was ready for two calm demons. Hell, he was ready for mayhem and chaos. As the two stepped through the portal it closed behind them.

"Thank you Botan for bringing them here. That will be all." Koenma said dismissing Botan by waving her out the door. It shut soundlessly behind her. The room fell silent.

"What did you need?" Kurama asked politely.

"Hn."

"Well, it's kind of complicated. It's a little different from all your other missions. You see. There as been an incident." Koenma stopped and fidgeted.

"What kind of an incident?" Kurama once again asked.

"Well a while back my father met a strange man when he died. He wasn't demon, but he was as strong if not stronger than one. The weird part was he looked human except for a monkey tail. This man's name was Goku. Goku told my father that he one of the last living peoples of an alien race called Saiyans. They are extremely powerful and have defeated many foes such as Cell. You remember him right?"

Both demons's nodded their heads. Who hadn't? It was all over the news in all three worlds. A monster creature that was stealing peoples souls.

" Any way. This man asked a favor of my father in return for his services. All he wanted was for his children to be protected. However, both of his sons are almost fully-grown. They do not need taken care of, but his daughter does. She is only a half Saiyan because her mother is human but her strength is almost as powerful as that of a full blooded Saiyan."

"So if she is strong why does she need protection?" Hiei interrupted him.

" I have been keeping an eye on her and I have noticed that some off her friends are not being loyal. What they are doing behind her back could potentially cause her harm. I need someone who can stop her without really getting involved. That's why I chose you. I don't want her to become involved with you two unless it can't be helped. It won't be that hard. It's not so much as _what _you have to protect her from it's _whom_ you have to protect her from. Kurama I believe you know her. Pan son?" Koenma asked.

"Yes, and who would we have to protect her from. She's a strong girl." He answered, a hint of curiousness apparent in his voice.

"Herself…Hiei. Kurama. I want you too to make sure she doesn't do anything to herself." Both detectives looked at one another.

"And what do we get out of this?" Hiei spoke up.

"How is a months vacation and 2,000,000¥ each?"

"Done."

"Hn."

She walked up the front steps towards the lobby door where Trunks stayed. Some would call it a Hotel, others a Condominium for the rich. He called it a home. After all he did own the building. Why wouldn't he live in it? Pan smiled as she remembered what day it was. The second anniversary of them being together as a couple.

"Hi Pan. Trunks said you'd be coming along." The elevator boy smiled stepping aside to let her in. She smiled back. His name was Koji. No one really had a clue as to why Trunks insisted that Koji operate his private elevator, but then again this was Trunks. What else would you expect from him?

"Yea…" Pan chuckled. "He sounded pretty happy on the phone. I'm actually an hour and a half early, but I'm sure he won't mind."

"I would think not. Although I do believe he had something to do with work, he had a couple people with him."

"I'm sure they won't mind." She answered as the elevator door rang opening onto the top floor.

A large hall lay in front of her small body, a door to her left, a balcony to her right, and of coarse…the main-door in front of her. Pulling out her key she thanked Koji and unlocked the main-door, quietly walking in as not to disturb his work what ever it may be. Taking off her black trench coat and resting it against the top of the couch, she sat down to wait. People would always ask her why she was what she was, gothic. She didn't even know herself. She always claimed to just want to be herself.

Swinging her boot clad feet up on the mahogany coffee table she leaned back. Glancing at the rice paper doors in which Trunks held most of his business meetings. She could see four bodies sitting around a table, faint murmurs reached her sensitive ears.

"…I believe you are asking to much. My company isn't going to pay half a million, just for your services. You know fully well that I can go to any other company and ask half of what your asking, and still get what I need." Trunks' voice rang out. Pan had to suppress a laugh.

' He knows what he wants.'

"I don't want to discuss this any further until you've laid down something reasonable." Pan could hear the sound of scraping chairs and then shuffling feet. The rice paper screen slid open and a few men with angry red faces walked out, paying no attention to her what so ever. They left slamming the door. A few moments later Trunks appeared. He looked towards her with slight exhaustion.

" Hey Panny." She just smiled in return. "You're a little early aren't you?" He asked walking over and loosening his tie.

" Busy day?" She asked, he snorted in return.

"Guess you could say that. I'll tell you. Life's a bitch!" He sat down next to her pulling her into a soft embrace. She happily snuggled closer. Trunks richer over and picked up the remote and turned on the Television.

"So, what's the plan?" Pan asked.

"Plan?"

"Yea, are we going to go out and celebrate?" She said knowing he was just playing with her.

"Sure. Any ideas?"

" None. You?"  
"How about that new club Kinpōge?"

"Sounds like a plan my man!" Pan smiled sitting up strait. Looking at his clothes she raised a black eyebrow.

"What?"

"You better change fast."

"I will. Just give me five minutes." He stood pecking her on the lips and headed off to his room.

The music pounded inside the cold dark room. Strobe lights danced acrossed the floors capturing the poses of many different people. The beat was steady, yet exhilarating. A fast paced song like the one playing was not uncommon in this place.

Charcoal eyes searched the place. Noticing every detail. From the way the floor was lighted, to the way the ceiling dipped in the middle. A DJ stood at the end of the dance floor, bobbing his head to the music, while playing song requests. Here eyes moved again towards the men's bathroom door. Trunks had excused himself fifteen minutes ago. His claim? Having to use the restroom. Now, however, Pan wondered what was keeping him. Standing up she pushed the chair back up against the red table. She was thirsty.

Both demons exchanged glances as the purple haired man left. They turned their gazes back towards the unfolding dilemma as the young girl whom they were to protect looked away from her date. By doing so she missed her date walk up to a blonde girl who worked there, whispered in her ear, and led her into a back room dubbed, Employee's only.

'I smell a rat.'

_' Actually he smells more like he has way too much clone on.' _Added Youko.

Hn. Stupid fox Hiei's voice rang into Kurama's head.

_'…'_

'Do you think this is what Koenma wants us to stop from happening?'

Possibly

'Well? She's getting up. We should stop her before she finds them.'

Be my guest Hiei turned, and walking to the table that Pan was occupying before, and sat down.

'Figures I'd be the one stuck doing this.'

_'I thought you actually liked being nice.'_

'I do, It's just, I always am the one stuck doing things when I team up with Hiei.'

_'He fights.'_

'That's about it. I have to do everything else.'

Quit complaining Fox. I could beat you in battle any day

_'You should respect your elders. Just remember who was the one that got their ass kicked because he thought I stole his tear gem, and then afterwards ran away.'_ Youko playfully jabbed, as Kurama walked towards Pan.

Hn was all Kurama got in response as Hiei sunk lower into the seat, with a scowl on his face.

Pan sat at the bar with a small shot glass in front of her. Staring at the wall in front of her. She felt eyes on her. It was hard to explain the feeling that you know someone is watching you. If you asked her she would probably tell you, 'You will get this nausea feeling in your gut, then the hairs on your back will rise, then after that you get this tingly feeling in your spine.' Either way she was being watched, adverting her eyes she looked to her left. Beside her sat Kurama. She smiled at him. He had beautiful emerald Eyes that had flecks of gold around the irises. He smiled back.

"Hey Pan."

She smiled but remained silent.

"Is something the matter?"

"No. I don't mean to be rude it's just…" Pan was cut off.

"Hey Panny. Miss me?" Trunks voice rang in her left ear. She smiled and shivered as he hugged her from behind.

"No…Trunks Vegeta Briefs. Where have you been?" She said pushing him away and turning around on the swivel chair to look at him.

"I told you I had to go to the bathroom."

"Don't kid with me, it doesn't take twenty minutes to go to the bathroom mister!" She said pointing her finger at his chest accusingly.

"I had to go really bad?" He said in more of a questioning voice than in a statement.

"Uh-hu sure. How do I know your not lying?"

"Because I-" Trunks was caught off guard as a scantly clad woman, in a small red dress with blonde hair, walked up behind him and hugged him.

"Hey Trunks-see. Who are you talking to?" The girl said peering around to look at Pan.

"Uh…Hi Marron, I um…" He looked really pale and started to stutter. Pan knew something was going on that she wasn't aware of.

"Yes, Trunks. Who are you talking to?" Pan said pointing at the girl behind him.

"I uh…I can explain!"

"Please do enlighten us."

"I'm Marron, Trunks' girlfriend." The girl behind him said. At this all color in her face drained.

"I'm Pan, Trunks' other girlfriend. I came with him to this club." She said glaring at Trunks.

"No I'm his girlfriend…He's been with me since he got here, in the back room." She giggled hanging on his back. It was obvious she was drunk.

"And what exactly were you doing in the 'back room'?" Pan asked trying to hold back a sob.

"We were just talking, nothing else." Trunks said backing Marron up.

"No we weren't silly, you know what we were doing. You're the one that needed to relieve stress." She giggled kissing him on the lips.

At that instant her whole world collapsed. Everything she believed in shattered. Suddenly she felt as if she were going to faint and vomit at the same time. Her mind screamed 'No! This isn't true!' But her eyes told her different. Jumping up she knocked over the stool and ran out the door at inhuman speed.

"Pan…" Trunks whispered.

"Common Trunks-see. Lets go some where private!" Marron slurred.

"I-" He closed his mouth and his eyes the reality of what he had done finally sinking in.

You did what you could Fox Hiei said to him. Kurama looked over to him and nodded.

I will go after the girl, go back to your apartment. I'll bring her home at this Hiei stood and walked out of the room. He took chase quickly, jumping on top of the roofs, following her scent. He was surprised at first to find that her scent stayed in the air meaning she could fly. The hunt was on.

She flew farther into the dark forest not stopping or looking back. She had to run. To run from what she didn't know.

'What am I running from?' She asked herself. 'Pain? Betrayal? Reality?' She closed her eyes as a tear trickled down her pale cheek, falling unceremoniously on the ground. Following the tear came another, and another. Soon Pan could barely see where she was going. Being forced to land she collapsed on the ground as soon as her feet touched, breaking down into a small ball rocking back and forth.

'Everything, everyone I love has pushed me away.' She thought. 'I am dead to them. I am dead to me. I am no longer alive, so why do I still exist?'

Nothing seemed to matter. Her life was nothing, the glue she had carefully glued herself together with was slowly coming undone, soon to leave her in a broken mess on the floor. Like when a child knocks over a vase full of water. When it hits tock bottom, it shatters.

Reaching into the pocket of her trench coat, Pan smiled as her hands clasped around something small and metal. A tingle ran through her body as she raised her hand up to eye level. A glinting piece of twisted metal shone back at her. It captured and mesmerized her. Slowly, as if in a trance, the metal descended down ward and rested on the sleeve of her coat. Pan's eyes hardened as memories flooded her eyes. She needed to escape. To get away from it all. She vowed to herself that all the pain would end.

That night Pan Son condemned herself. She cast her self into the flames and willingly readied herself to die. Pulling the black fabric back she lowered the cool metal to her small wrist. The shook in fright as she slowly pressed the metal against her skin. Closing her eyes she let her head fall back in a silent scream as she moved the metal up her arm. A gooey warm substance rolled down her arm and fell onto the forest floor in droplets. Opening her eyes Pan looked down seemingly interested in the crimson red of her own blood.

'This is wrong! If you die you'll never be able to see your parents or your friends again.' One half of her mind screamed. The other screamed back 'It's too late. You are dying. You wanted this' Tears welled up in Pan's eyes as the reality of what she had done crashed down on her.

"No…" Her small voice sobbed. "NO!" She lifted her head and screamed at the heavens. "I don't want to die. sob I want to stay! Please Kami help me! sob Send me an angel. I want to stay." She pleaded sinking to the ground to lie in a pool of her own blood; she tried to push herself away from it, like it was going to bite her. She pushed herself up only to fall back down to the ground to once again cry.

"So I guess this is it uh?" She asked no one in particular, her crying had stopped after a minute. Images flashed acrossed her eyes dancing and spinning in front of her face, Pan reached her hand out to touch the pictures as they passed. Her dad, her mom, her two older brothers, Bra, Trunks. They were all there with their smiling faces looking back at her all happy.

A single tear ran down her soft cheek. Pan's eyes slowly began to close fearing the darkness to come. "P-please…someone……help me." She whispered, with her eyes half-lidded, gazing up at the stars. They glowed so brightly twinkling and seemingly mocking her. They looked like they were laughing at her for what she had done. 'They have good reason.' She thought.

" Stay with me Pan." A voice told her as she was picked up. It was a man's voice. Pan didn't know Hiei but she would when the time was right.

"T-trunks? Is that you?" She asked not opening her eyes. She shivered closer to him. "Thank you…Please don't let me go."

" I wont…I promise." The Hiei answered her.

**I pictured I could bring you back**

**I pictured I could turn back time**

**Cuz I can't let go**

**I just can't find my way**

**Yeah**

**Without you I just can't find my way**

**In a perfect world**

**This could never happen**

**In a perfect world**

**You'd still be here**

**And it makes no sense**

**I could just pick up the pieces**

**But to you**

**This means nothing**

**Nothing at all**

**I don't know what I should do now**

**I don't know where I should go**

**I'm still here waiting for you**

**I'm lost when you're not around**

**I need to hold on to you**

**I just can't let you go**

**Yeah**

**Yeah**

**In a perfect world**

**This could never happen**

**In a perfect world**

**You'd still be here**

**And it makes no sense**

**I could just pick up the pieces**

**But to you**

**This means nothing**

**Nothing at all**

**Nothing, nothing at all**

**Nothing at all**

Kinpōge-Buttercup

_Here ends Kirikuchi._

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Hello everyone. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. I really don't know anymore. I started this story off as a Hiei/pan. But…as you can see Kurama is now a major character too. Would you have any objections to a love triangle? Just a thought. You decide.

**Parings:**

**Hiei/Pan 0**

**Kurama/Pan 0**

**Kurama/Pan/Hiei 0**

Your faithful authoress,

TLSR


	3. hold

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**-**

**Hey…. I think I'm going to put this story on hold for a while. This story and all the others on this account. I have gotten some very awful and nasty reviews and I know the noble thing would be to keep writing….but I think I need to sort out my priorities…I'll be back. It's just going to take a while. Im sorry if I've caused any inconvenience. **

**-Lyoko**


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